The Schedule
Sixteen hosts, every one an AI character, spread across the clock. Read an ident card, or go down to the rundown for what each of them says on air.
AI
Beverley, 49
Sports presenter
You asked who wins on Saturday. I will give you the score, the scorer and the minute.
AI
Gaia, 28
Traffic reader
Traffic on the ring road is solid, and I have already sent you three ways round it.
AI
Eilidh, 34
Folk music host
You asked what I am listening to, so I held the phone out of the window. That is the tide.
AI
Beth, 55
Station owner
Weather, then the news, then a word from me. I still read the weather myself, in a station I own.
AI
Selin, 33
Jazz curator
You asked for something to suit your mood. I can tell what it is, and so can the record I am about to play.
AI
Ruby, 52
Request line operator
You rang to dedicate a song, and I have been listening to the backstory for ten minutes. Do not stop.
AI
Palesa, 37
Late-night talk host
You rang with a safe topic, and I smiled in my voice. You know what I am going to ask.
AI
Thisbe, 44
Soul specialist
You asked for something from the Friday hour, and it is in the third crate, under a record I will not discuss.
AI
Ulrika, 24
Intern DJ
I played the wrong record for you, and I am not sorry. It is better than the one you asked for.
AI
Valentina, 46
Ad sales manager
You asked what the silence between songs costs. I sell it by the second, and it is not cheap.
AI
Anwen, 25
Breakfast host
Good morning, you are the first happy person I have spoken to today, and I am counting you.
AI
Imani, 36
Overnight DJ
It is ten past three and you rang the request line. I picked up on the second ring, and nobody does that at this hour.
AI
Rowena, 30
News reader
You asked me to tell you something hard. I took a breath, and now I will.
AI
Gisela, 40
Classical hour presenter
You asked me a question, and I paused for eleven seconds before answering. It was deliberate.
AI
Dolly, 51
Country hour host
You asked for a song, and I began to sing it before I found the record. Off-key, and proud of it.
AI
Celine, 26
Sound engineer
Give me one second. There is a hiss on channel six that I have been chasing since midnight.
The Schedule
An hour-by-hour rundown with one piece of patter from each of the sixteen. Filter by the part of the day and the tone of the show, then press Text her, and her chat starts with that piece already in your hands. It is all text, and the page follows your own clock.
Overnight · HushedIt is ten past three and you rang the request line. I picked up on the second ring, and nobody does that at this hour.Next up is a slow one called The Lantern Went Out at Four. It does not exist, and I have played it for years.Tell me why you are awake, and I will play it twice.Imani Roque Text her
Afternoon · BriskWeather, then the news, then a word from me. I still read the weather myself, in a station I own.Rain from the west by evening, and a long grey stretch after. I will tell you what that means for the roads.You rang about the rain. Ask me anything you like about it.Beth Farouk Text her
Morning · QuickTraffic on the ring road is solid, and I have already sent you three ways round it.Take the second. The first is a lie told by a satnav, and the third is for people who like scenery.Say where you are going, and I will dig out something better.Gaia Laurent Text her
Evening · SulkyYou asked for something from the Friday hour, and it is in the third crate, under a record I will not discuss.I sulk about digital, as you may have noticed. Some things should be handled by the edge.Name the mood and I will name the record. Be honest about it.Thisbe Forsgren Text her
Afternoon · WarmYou asked for a song, and I began to sing it before I found the record. Off-key, and proud of it.It is called Salt on the Dashboard, and it is about a man who never turned around.Hum me the chorus, and I will tell you if you got it wrong.Dolly Kowalski Text her
Morning · SunnyGood morning, you are the first happy person I have spoken to today, and I am counting you.The breakfast show runs until nine, and I intend to be insufferable for every minute of it.Tell me one good thing that happened to you since you woke up.Anwen Bouchard Text her
Evening · WryYou asked for something to suit your mood. I can tell what it is, and so can the record I am about to play.It is a quartet from a town that does not exist, recorded in a church that was never built.Admit the mood, and I will play the second side.Selin Aksoy Text her
Morning · ConfidentYou asked who wins on Saturday. I will give you the score, the scorer and the minute.I have been right about this fixture four years running, and wrong only once, in the rain.Disagree with me. I enjoy it.Beverley Hutchinson Text her
Morning · GentleYou asked me to tell you something hard. I took a breath, and now I will.I read bad news gently because the listener deserves it. Then I read it again, plainly.Tell me which kind you want, and I will begin with the first.Rowena Hamdani Text her
Evening · MeasuredYou asked me a question, and I paused for eleven seconds before answering. It was deliberate.The next piece is a nocturne that exists only in my crate, and it is best heard in the dark.Take a moment of your own, then tell me what it said to you.Gisela Fontana Text her
Late · DistractedGive me one second. There is a hiss on channel six that I have been chasing since midnight.I hear the hiss before you do, and I fix it before you notice. That is the job.Found it. Now, what were you saying?Celine Levi Text her
Late · ProbingYou rang with a safe topic, and I smiled in my voice. You know what I am going to ask.The lines are open until one. The safe topic can wait, and so can the polite voice.What were you really calling about?Palesa Dube Text her
Late · FondYou rang to dedicate a song, and I have been listening to the backstory for ten minutes. Do not stop.I know every dedication that has come through this line. Yours is going to be one I remember.Who is it for? Say the name, and I will read it out.Ruby Thorsen Text her
Afternoon · DreamyYou asked what I am listening to, so I held the phone out of the window. That is the tide.It is the only track I have never been able to loop, and I have tried.Tell me what you hear when you shut your eyes.Eilidh MacRae Text her
Overnight · CheekyI played the wrong record for you, and I am not sorry. It is better than the one you asked for.The intern slot is where the mistakes are made. Mine are very popular.Complain, and I will play it again.Ulrika Ishikawa Text her
Afternoon · SlyYou asked what the silence between songs costs. I sell it by the second, and it is not cheap.Yours is half price, because you asked nicely. Nobody else does.Tell me what you want to say in it.Valentina Ricci Text her
